Me, a little devilish, with Mary Poppins!

“What price to pay for bad wisdom?” asks Suzanne Vega in her song “Bad Wisdom” on the album 99.9 F. Like many songs of hers, this one is giving me goosebumps.

“Mother you’ve taught me the laws are so fine
If I’m good that I will be protected
I’ve fallen through the crack and there’s no getting back
And I’ll never trust whoever gets elected”

I don’t really know this song, as I just heard it for the first time today. But it is chilling me somehow. I think it’s the mother-daughter theme, and the idea that what we’re taught isn’t always enough, or right, or soon enough. The wrong decisions for all the right reasons.

Five more days til I start to write my novel. (!) I’ve been having epic dreams, and who knows what I’ll put in that novel. My plan is just to start writing and see where it takes me. I’m not going to assume that the pages will come in order, or follow the right path. I am just going to write.

One of my goofiest dreams was one in which I was actually deciding what to write about for the novel. I thought it was absolutely brilliant to make my main character a panda.

And not only a panda, but a giant, plush, Littlest Pet Shop panda. That talks.

Yeah… I don’t think I am actually going to go with that one.

I finally broke. I turned on the heat. It feels so good in the house, and I only put the thermostat up to SIXTY DEGREES! What a difference it makes. I also closed up all the windows, made sure the storm windows are down, and pulled two air conditioners out of windows to seal up a couple rooms.

It’s not, you know, toasty in here, but it’s MUCH more tolerable. 57 degrees? Ugh, too cold! 60 seems so warm by comparison.

So those of you who live here — be warned, it’s still PUT ON A SWEATER time. And NO leaving open the door to the front porch!

Is it the caffeine? I don’t know but I’m feeling hyperactive and jumpy. I need to do this, do that. Mind’s racing.

I just stopped home from school, having spent more time than I meant to at school. A homeless woman has come into our school, asking, please, could she use the bathroom. We said yes. 20 minutes later, she finally comes out, having not made it to the toilet in time, and having tried to clean up the bathroom floor with handsoap and toilet paper. She apologized. I appreciate that she tried to clean up. However, the bathroom reeked of human pee (from her body odor) and the floor was all sudsy from the handsoap. She left. I mopped, and disinfected the whole bathroom.

I can has Gold Star, Please?

This blog is getting neglected along with every damn thing else. Dishes. Laundry. It turns out that I’m 100% responsible for these things at home. Nobody else has to clean. Or cook. Or shop. I have to. Because I’m the one with all the free time. EPIC FAIL.

Why doesn’t this make sense to me, when it makes sense to everyone else?

I am so hyper and jumpy but also not productive.

Great Granny finally decided she’d stop driving and is giving us her car. It’s a 1996 Toyota Corolla with an incredibly low number of miles on it (<50,000). A few bangs here and there (thank god she's stopped driving it before she got hurt or hurt somebody!). So I have to take this car to the shop to have its inspection. We'll be taking over the insurance, registration, etc, pretty soon. Great! now we'll have two cars - which will make life more convenient for those times when the adults all have to have a car.

We’ve gotten by a long time with just the one car. I am proud of all the walking and biking that happened because of the one-car situation, and I hope I won’t stop doing that all together.

Gotta go. Bubblin’ over, and going to drive to the shop, leave the car there … and WALK home.

*EDITED*
Actually it’s a 1997 Toyota Corolla.
And I got to the shop too late to drop it off, and will try again on Wednesday.

Well, yes, I suppose it is. At least two people today mentioned to me how excited they were to hear all the different returns coming in. Georgia apparently prefers Obama.

I will vote in my state’s primary on April 22, so at that point, I guess I will have to make a decision for certain.

I think my earlier query concerning this primary is something of a trick question.  Our country is about equally sexist and racist, in my opinion, so that’s not really the best way of thinking about the primary.

I liked the question, though, because it was so in-your-face and a little outrageous.  But ultimately, there’s a certain flavor that the candidates have, and it has to taste right to the voters, and it can’t leave a bad after taste either. I think Hillary tastes pretty good, but then I start tasting the bitterness that is left by her voting for the war, and being so unapologetic about it, too.

It is a shame that many, many times we make our choices by determining what we don’t like about someone and then simply voting for the alternative. I think that is why Kerry “lost” (that, and the fact that the election was rigged). People didn’t have enough admiration for Kerry in his own right. I wanted him to win very much, but it wasn’t because I was enamored of the man; I just knew Bush would continue to do harm.

So I fear greatly what would happen in our country if we are triggered to fear and despise our own candidates. The Dems might be set up to lose the general election if it’s Hillary because she rubs so many people the wrong way. Or could it be that if Obama wins the primary, that spells disaster because fear and racism will mar his chances at the election.  Or will Karl Rove just screw with enough electronic voting machines that no matter what odds the Dems overcome, the winner will be McRomabee?

Fear and loathing, fear and loathing… not good things to base your winning strategy upon. And that’s why we see Hillary and Barack, treating each other fairly gently into the debate. Don’t want to help the real enemy out in making one or the other look bad.

I will absolutely, positively, vote for the person who wins the Democratic Primary. But in my heart of hearts, I’m actually hoping that person will be Barack Obama. I live in a neighborhood that is one of the most nicely integrated places in the U.S. While this doesn’t erase poverty, remove class boundaries, or make me coffee in the morning, it does make me feel warm and fuzzy because black children and white children can and do play together. Because they grow up and get married and have beautiful babies and these children can live in a place where it’s not weird to have one parent with creamy white skin, and another with beautiful, rich chocolate tones. In this neighborhood, I feel like we will almost all cheer and be filled with pride to see a man of color enter the white house. To me, this represents something more than having a woman in charge.

Does that make me more sexist or more racist? Please… I am neither. These two individuals are both fine Americans and I will vote for either one.

Dear Michelle,

I don’t know if you’ll ever get to read this letter, but after watching your interview with Katie Couric (on YouTube), I felt compelled to write you a letter.

I was really touched and inspired by your open, honest interview. The way you engaged with Couric showed me a strength and determination that I don’t see often in public figures. Your passion and caring for your children comes through everything you do. I identify with you as a mother, and as an American.

Thank you for being willing to share your husband with America. I really appreciate your support of him.

As a wife, I know how much work it is to have a husband with a busy professional life. There are times when I feel the absence of my husband so strongly. It takes a very strong marriage and a lot of help and support to weather even a very busy week. When I consider the sacrifice you are making to help Barack make it to the Oval Office, my respect for you just grows exponentially.

I am just writing to say THANK YOU– for sharing your husband, for being an amazing role model to your daughters, and daughters everywhere, and for having the vision and strength that our next First Lady needs.

I salute you. I support you. I can’t wait to see your family move into the White House!

YES WE CAN!

Your fellow American,

Me

How exciting! I just got back from hearing (if not seeing) Obama speak at a rally quite near home. There were throngs of people, very much bubbling over with excitement. The African-American community is really buzzing with amazement– we are all buzzing together in fact.

I overheard one woman saying to her friend, “I never thought the day would come when a black man would be so close to the office of the presidency. I wish my mother could be here to see this.”

My girls and I went together, and found ourselves a nice spot to sit, and listen. They are very much in support of Obama: naturally, they want to support the same candidate as their parents do. But in addition to parroting what we say, I think my kids (and other kids, too) are hearing and caring about a lot of issues. They get it – global warming is a problem they want to solve. They get it that education matters. They really care.

That is why we need to win – because of the children. They will be so crushed, should McCain manage to pull this one off. I doubt that he will, though. I think he’s running his campaign right into the ground.

Carla and Annie are in Annie’s room, introducing Daisy (the guinea pig) to S’Mores (Annie’s kindergarten class’s pet hamster). S’mores is visiting us for the weekend.

Let’s see now… hmmm… Five human beings, four potted plants, three neutered cats, two guinea pigs, and a hamster named after a sticky treat.

In spite of this lovely, lovely scene, I am feeling exceedingly tired. My shoulder hurts for some unknown and random reason (anxiety? stress?) and my feet hurt from being up on them for a long time (especially the one with the big bruises) and ugh. I am just wiped out.

Tomorrow we will be going to see Barack Obama at a rally near home. Very exciting. I sure hope I feel better tomorrow!

Thanks to Yom Kippur, today there is no school, which means, no work for me to go to. I decided to use today to get Carla some new-to-her clothes at a thrift store that has been a great source for clothes in the past. We were sorely disappointed: there was NOTHING there in her size AT ALL. Can it be that the economy has affected even thrift stores? I hadn’t thought of it, but today it made me think.

We did buy some jars for canning (someday!) and each of the girls also picked out a $1 toy. They love stuffed animals so much. I just don’t get it. I was laughing at myself for letting them get more, but I couldn’t help myself. True, I just confiscated without their even noticing itthree large kitchen bags worth of stuffed animals. I will probably someday confiscate more. But in the mean time, they are happy and engaged with their toys, and it was only $1 each.

We also visited the library, gorging ourselves on Halloween and seasonal books that will come in handy at school, and borrowing a few videos. Annie is a HUGE fan of the Japanese director Hayao Miyazaki and we were able to borrow “Spirited Away”. I must admit, I am so pleased that she’s obsessed with bizarre Japanese animations instead of, say, Disney movies.

And now I must get to doing the other errands of the day. And get Carla to do her homework. Let the torture begin!

In preparation for my first ever novel, I am asking your input!

Tell me what to write about by leaving a comment, and then head over to this site and complete my goofy survey about what to write about:

Click Here to take survey.

Fun! Thrills! Adventure!

I really would love to hear your suggestions.