Tonight as I write this post, there is a slumber party going on in my living room. Five 9-ish year old girls are in a camping tent on the rug by the couch.  I put on some classical guitar music playing quietly in hopes that they might settle down and fall asleep whispering their deepest darkest secrets to one another.

It’s Annie’s 9th birthday party, and it’s a good one. We’ve been a little short on cash lately, so I wanted to find an inexpensive party option. Having a sleepover seemed like the perfect solution.  Small guest list means less food, less stuff to buy. Smaller cake and so forth.

For party favors, I went simple but fun: glow bracelets and a flashlight for each kid.  Cheap stuff (which I’m usually loathe to buy) but as I mentioned, we’re pretty short on cash.

For entertainment, I borrowed a laptop and projector and I put up a big sheet on the wall. I borrowed a DVD from the library (Annie chose Labyrinth) and we watched that on the “big screen”.

For food, I made two pans of lasagna (one vegetarian, one meat) and bought two pizzas. I also made some lemonade from lemon juice concentrate and sugar and water.

So how much did this party cost? Well let’s see: balloons, candy, flashlights, favors, plates and cups from the dollar store: $40 approximately. Two pizzas: $25. Two homemade lasagnas: priceless!

All in all, so far so good. So slumber, my darlings. Please? I hope nobody wakes up early!!!

I’m sitting on my front porch – an enclosed space. I am listening in to a conversation happening on my front steps. It is between my tween girl and a friend. They are discussing bras! OMG so cute.

And also asking each other what a whore is!

And what’s a pimp?

This is so fun.

HEH!

My daughter just instructed her friend to not use slang words improperly. Now her friend is explaining what a “birthday cake” is. Now they are giggling like crazy.

A rant I wrote  about 4 years ago: still holds up today.

I think I’m completely and utterly sick and tired of there being this so-called divide between “working moms” and “stay at home  (SAH)” moms. I’m talking about the attitude (or atty-tude as we say here in Philly) that I’ve seen in various mothers that includes harshly judging mothers whose choices were not the same as one’s own. From the SAH camp, the working mothers have put their career ahead of the needs of their children. They let someone else raise their kids. Their kids languish in daycare, and after school programs, or sit at home with the TV on, latch key style, subsisting on fast food and cheerios.

From the “working” camp, they look with bitter derisiveness at these lazy, self-righteous, mothers, who have so little do that all they  care about is crayola and playdough, who hang out at Starbucks, who have the nerve to form playgroups and coffee get-togethers  during WORK hours.

PUH-LEEZE.  This is such idiocy! If you’re someone who’s chosen to work full time, and have a career and also children, I’m going to assume the best of you: you’ve figured out a way to make that work for you and your family. You contribute at your job, you are in your own life. But don’t get all huffy that someone else might be up for a playgroup or coffee chat!

And, if you’re the kind who’s inclined to devote your full energies to the home, then kudos to you. Mazeltov! But don’t get huffy if one of your child’s classmates has a parent in the workforce who cannot join you for coffee in the middle of the work day.

But beyond just the huffy idiocy of moms who make up for their own insecurities by attacking others whose lives fall into the opposite camp, I am sick and tired of the world acting as if there are only two camps to be in.

Yes, you’ve either got a job or you don’t, but it’s not that simple. Many parents I know work very hard to find a balance between their family time and their work time. (I myself now have two jobs, one of which I am avoiding doing right now.)  It’s not fair to try to pigeonhole people into either being June Cleaver or Murphy Brown.

And the anger that some working moms direct toward moms without jobs seems really unfair and misplaced to me.

So, folks? GET OVER IT!

It is a cliche that people talk about the weather when they have nothing to say, or when they don’t want to say anything of substance.  That says it all, right?

Oh the spring is here and it is so beautiful. I have flowers blooming in the yard, and on the side. I decided a few years ago, that mowing is not for me. So I killed the grass that grows alongside the sidewalk by smothering it with lots of dead leaves, and by pulling some of it out. Slowly, I amended the soil and added flowers that can come back each year.

These beds are now sprouting hosta, lilies, daffodils, as well as some strawberry plants that I put in about three years ago.  The strawberries have given fruit each year since I planted them, though not many. This year I added compost to the strawberries in hopes of boosting production.

Meanwhile, it having been such a mild winter, and now we have such an early and warm spring, my very favorite flowers do not seem enthusiastic about producing blossoms. I wonder why that happens? I seem to remember reading somewhere that tulips need a good cold winter, or that they like it. This winter hardly qualified as a winter, in my opinion, with so little snow.

Does this mean my favorite flowers will fail me? Last winter was so very extremely snowy, and last spring my tulips were so beautiful. Well, it makes for a good case study!

Meanwhile, my attempts to grow food last summer achieved mixed results. I had cucumbers growing in the front yard, and that was exciting. But unfortunately, with the extreme heat and the extreme rain in August, one thing and another, many of the cukes were very bitter.  I did end up making lots of pickles. Happy!

On the tomato growing effort, a total failure to achieve.  I had a number of plants first wilt under the heat and then rot in the rain.  I wonder what kind of weather challenges will come this year?

Herbs were successful. I had oregano, basil, parsley, and mint galore.  I made quite a lot of mint iced tea, and that was lovely. The basil and oregano spiced up many a dish.  I fell in love with the oregano, never really appreciating it before. Interestingly, the winter being so mild, the parsley just kept on living throughout the winter and is now looking lovely and green.  And tastes great!

My biggest challenge is dealing with the many dead leaves from the trees. I had hoped to see more decomposition, but instead I just have lots of leaf piles. I might just have to install another compost bin in the back and move that stuff into it.

Well, I do apologize if you are not interested in gardening.  Isn’t this spring weather just lovely, though?

I finally made up my mind, and also abandoned this blog for a while.

It came down to thinking about spending four days driving… and how was that going to feel.  Nope. Couldn’t do it.

I took the kids to Chincoteague, Virginia, instead and we had a ball.  It’s a little summer fun town, and kinda deserted in March, which we oddly enjoyed. We saw wild ponies!

Thus, March passed successfully.

April is here, with flowers, and I planted stuff and that’s where we are now.

Little smiling green bits of arugala are peeking up at me; I have teeny seedlings of romanesco cauliflower (broccoli?), and meanwhile I’ve put in peas and I’m waiting to see them grow and flourish.

All around is flowering trees, rain storms, the smell after the rain, the changeability of it all. April, rushing  by.

That’s where I am now. Just thought I should say.

I keep going BACK and FORTH with this Florida trip decision. What it comes down to is … about 4 days of driving for about 4 days of being there.  Unless I either leave a day or two earlier, or come back a day or two later.  I have my serious doubts about how kosher it would be to miss work (I’d find a sub, but still… not sure how this would look.)

On the other hand, I guess I know of several other teachers at my school who wanted to do something and found subs, and nobody really said boo about it.

So getting a sub shouldn’t be too big of a deal, really, and that might mean taking 4 days of driving and having 5 or maybe even 6 days of being there. That would tip the scales some.

I’m still concerned about where we’ll stay.  I mean, it’s fine to flop on a couch bed when it’s just one person (me) but trying to sleep all tangled up with my two sweet children… well, let’s face it, they take up a lot of space. And one of them wets the bed about half the time.  She’s volunteered to sleep on the floor with her sleeping bag, but still.

So that’s really not too bad. I don’t mind snuggling up with Annie. She’s smaller, and Carla could be on the floor.

So that’s not that bad of a concession.

Thinking about this, I’m really, thinking thinking thinking about this.

It’s a LOT of driving for one person. Me. I’m a good driver, though, and have done marathon drives before. But not this long of a drive, by myself.  Cammy and I split the driving last time and it was still exhausting.

On the other hand, it would be really lovely to get to Florida, again. Spring as you drive down the coast is fun to witness. The south is having spring of course, earlier than here. So it’s going to be pretttttty.

On the other hand, we’ll be driving on stupid I-95 most of the time, and what’s pretty about that, anyway?

On the other hand, we’ll have all that quality time in the car together, listening to great books on CD.  We love audio books.

On the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand…. what am I, an eight handed octo-mom?

Ugh, don’t answer that.

To drive, or not to drive… to Florida again. By myself this time.  I’m trying to decide on this, and it’s not easy.

Pros and Cons time:

Pros – sense of adventure, listening to lots of books on CD in the car is fun, good to see my dad because who knows when I will see him next otherwise since he’s old and he lives in Florida full time now, the kids want to go, it’s beautiful there, I love seeing the birds and the beaches, I love going on adventures, there have I come full circle now with the adventure thing?

Cons – that’s a lot of driving, that’s a lot of gas, my car is old and am I risking its continued existence by doing such a thing? Should I call the Car Talk guys? We don’t have a great option for where to stay this time, other than the 3 of us can stay on the fold out couch in their living room. Which means we will be in the way or else have to get up early and clear up the bed every day. And at night, the damn TV will be on and on and on while Dad watching annoying cable TV and all of the damn annoying commercials, and in the early morning we’ll be in the way of the early bird Dad’s wife! And did I mention that’s a lot of driving?

This isn’t so good… the con’s paragraph is longer. But each thought inside each Pro or Con isn’t equally weighted. I think we need to assign some numbers here in order to make a quantitative decision.

Pros… Scale of 1 to 10, 1o being most important…

See Dad- 9 See Florida’s beauty- 6 Have adventures with kids- 7 It’s what the kids want- 8 Listening to books on CD is fun- 4… So that’s five items in favor of the trip, with a cumulative average of “7″ on the scale of 1 to 10 of “important”.

Cons… Scale of 1 to 10, 10 is most important

Lots of driving, 5; Lots of Gas (and thereby money), 5; Risk to Car, 2; Accomodations Minimal, 5; In step-mom’s way, 4; The fucking TV, 6; So that’s six objections… and their value on average… about 4.5 on the scale of “important” whatever that means.

So… if I can think of ONE more important reason in favor of going, I think I will have to go, just have to.

MEANWHILE… I am thinking about the niceness of growing things. I spent a lovely weekend yesterday and the day before really enjoying spring-like weather (in February! whoa, man!) I mucked out my compost bin and moved it to its previous location, and stirred up and was pleased to see LOTS of good soil/compost for spreading all around. I did a ton of raking of old leaves, which eventually will go into the compost bin with the kitchen scraps.

Now I have a pile of seeds that are talking to me… oh, not literally, do not worry I’m not actually insane.  Though the calculations above concerning Florida seem a little whackadoo, I will admit.

Today’s inspiration is Hamlet.

What my reader might envy about my life is the time that I have to do things at home. Like most humans, I squander my resources. I am sorry to say, that here I am at home, while the kids are at school and sometimes I really waste that time.

Sometimes, I use it industriously to do egregious tasks.

Sometimes, I squander it in personally enjoyable activities, such as reading or napping.

Sometimes, I decide I should memorize speeches from Hamlet. That’s one thing I did today.  I am trying to commit to memory the speech in which Hamlet describes his depression, how he really knows that the world, the air, mankind, etc., are amazing and all that, but his attitude sucks and he is Not Pleased.

To test my learning of it so far, I am going to try to write it out now.

I have of late, wherefore I know not , lost all my mirth.  … What a piece of work is  a man, how noble in reason. How infinite in faculty. In form and moving how admirable, in action.  How like an angel, in apprehension… How like a God!

It’s close, but not quite right. If you are a Shakespearean scholar, you’ll notice my funny punctuation.  A quick trip to Wikipedia and you may talk like a scholar, too, for there it explains how in different places where this brilliant speech is committed to paper, there are different punctuation marks. I don’t recall which is what, and why, but I did decide to memorize and say this speech to myself as it most made sense. So, I am saying that in apprehension, man is like an angel, rather than in action.  Daring, I know. That’s me.

You might notice that it has no P in it.

I am writing on a derelict com’uter that has a broken letter p.  I can ty’e a p when I try really hard, and ‘ress down on it intentionally. But most of the time, I will be too lazy to accom’lish that.  Sorry in advance. The a’ostro’hes will go as well. Oo’sy.

Well if that didn’t scare away the reader, then maybe the rest of this entry will be just for you, that one special person for whom a hard press of the letter will be made.

Today Pann is thinking about the nature of the egregious task.  What on earth is that, you may ask? An egregious task, in this household, really, is any kind of task that simly must be done, and no matter how much whining one does, it all comes to the simle fact that it has to be done, so it is.  Usually involves something unleasant or stinky.  When you have two kids, three cats, and two guinea pigs, there’s a lot of unpleasant stuff to manage.

POOP.  Not to mention, there is plumbing to be managed. It is annoying how often the larger mammals around here clog up the toilets.

Funny, though you may at this oint be thinking that I am complaining, I actually feel pretty good and I don’t meant to complain at all.  I did several egregious tasks today and I don’t mind much.

The one I really didn’t like was plunging the toilet.  Because, YUCKY POOP! Stinks, you know.

I also scooped the cat boxes. But that was stinky but not as bad as plunging. I also cleaned up my younger daughter’s room, which was messy but not poopy or stinky.  That wasn’t bad, but it is an act of fierce futility.  I looked and even entered my older daughter’s room, but the level of chaos there defeated me anyway.  I don’t know how she feels about it, but oh my. Egregious state of affairs indeed, and not even poopy.

The letter p key seems to be sticking less. That is good.  What is the point of this particular little missive? The moral of the story is, if you have the time, go ahead and do the yucky stuff that has to be done. You’ll be glad you did.

And maybe just maybe you’ll be lucky to have your letter p get unstuck in the process.

Perhaps.

It’s not like we didn’t KNOW this day was coming. There is red everywhere you look, and hearts, and candy, and the media likes a good sales holiday as much as the stores all do.  You know that it is St. Valentine’s Day, because it’s when you’re supposed to really think about, indulge in, and enjoy LOVE in all its gaudy aspects.

The cynical part of me really despises this holiday. I look at all the build-up and see yet another religious holiday that is dressed up for the commercial benefit of our economy, of our sales and purchases and how they can be pumped up a bit more.

But there’s a part me that just loves this day, too. I work with kids. So I receive lovely little notes, with hearts, and sometimes candy, and I can enjoy that a great deal. There is sincerity, amid the chaos of the world, and it often comes from small people.