Being On Time
Posted: February 12, 2008 at 10:10 am by pannA little over two weeks ago, I had a conference with Carla’s teacher in which our habitual tardiness was a big issue. Since then, I have been making a new effort to get her to school on time — even a little early — EVERY day. It’s been quite good. We have not been late even once since. An important component of getting there on time has been Drob getting up, and making sure that C gets up and gets dressed, so that I can go downstairs ahead of everyone and start breakfast. Plus, Drob helps get lunches ready the night before. Having help, planning the morning events carefully, and also setting up clothes the night before all seem to make being on time every day possible.
Although I am relieved that we’re on time to school, and I am sure that the teacher thinks this is a very good thing, it’s kind of a let down. I mean, getting to school on time is so ordinary. Everyone else does it, apparently without much thinking about it. It’s just… normal. And when we do it too, that’s supposed to be just ordinary.
But it doesn’t feel just normal to me. It feels like a superhuman effort that requires a really large amount of energy and effort. And I don’t see that for all the effort that we put into being on time, that there is a payoff of equal proportions. I could put this effort elsewhere in my day and accomplish Great Things.
My emotional state upon entering school in the morning is tense and expectant. Did we do it? Are we on time? Get up to the classroom… let’s check the clock! Phew! We did it ! 8:29! or 8:24! or sometimes, 8:30, exactly. We are here! We are here! Hey everyone, did you see that we are here?! Do you SEE what TIME it is? If I had a tail, it would be wagging. I am looking around wildly for the biscuit and the pat on the head. I’m so pathological with respect to being prompt that even being on time is vaguely humiliating.
If I put this much energy into updating a website, or cleaning the house, or balancing my business accounts, my whole life would be really orderly and a smoothly running machine. This would save me money and time. Valuable things, no doubt. And I would be utterly exhausted.
It’s hard for me to accept that I have to keep up this level of effort, and for what? For this incredibly small payoff. The payoff is that C can get to school and put on her slippers and join the class at its very beginning, rather than missing a couple minutes of … well, of doing not much. It is so hard to accept. But apparently, like the first meal of the day, the first minutes of class are ripe with… um, miniscule social interactions that determine one’s social status in that whole grade school pecking order. Or, something. I dunno.
It will be a relief if this all gets easier somehow. Like if there was another adult around the house. Oh wait! There IS going to be another adult in the house! YAY CAMMY!
I will pick her up at the airport today. HOORAY! Can’t wait to see you honey!!
Posted in Parenting, Family Life, Private School, Organization, Rant | 
February 12th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Getting to work on time requires the same effort on my part - I feel as though it is monumental in scope, but really, for the rest of the world, it is just ordinary.
February 12th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Oh I get this.
The reward is a big ole slap on the back saying ‘atta girl’ … from ME.
February 12th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Wow, we are so different. It’s fascinating.
For me, it is so stressful to be late, to arrive sweaty and breathless and get the worst seat or have the door bang when I come in and have everyone look up, or have my kid not get to pick his favorite job on the nursery school job board, or have to say goodbye to him in a rushed way which always makes him more clingy, or whatever.
I hate being late so much that I am almost always early. My problem in the morning is that I rush my kid unnecessarily, like this:
“Hurry up, L. We have to leave here in ten minutes and I know you’ve had breakfast and your teeth are brushed and you’re almost dressed and your lunch is all made, but you still need to put your other sock on and we have only TEN minutes!”
And when friends are late? Then I am convinced that they don’t care about me, that they think my time is not important, or I can’t relax til they get here because I’m freaking out on their behalf because I’m imagining how stressed out I would be if I were as late as they are. It’s a sort of empathetic anxiety.
I am not always this neurotic, but I can sometimes be very talented at stressing about nothing.
February 18th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
I’ve gotten letters from school about tardiness - not yet had to deal with it face-to-face with a teacher, but I’m sure my day is coming. I don’t know why it is so hard but it does take a huge effort to be on time - being there early? I just can’t think of any reason why that is a good thing…
kim