I went to the birthday party of a friend’s child recently, and had a moment of reality check. I realized that I am truly not very mainstream. I live somewhere along the edge of the mainstream; to me, it’s acceptable to have a kid party but add to the invitation “no presents”. I tried this with Annie’s recent birthday part but people brought her presents anyway. It was like they just couldn’t help it. Perhaps it was affection for my daughter — perhaps it was that the children coming to the party were excited to give her presents. But I digress.

Carla’s birthday is coming up, and soon. This year she wants to have her birthday at the Jersey Shore. We love the shore; the sand, the waves, the seagulls. I have no problems with going to the shore to celebrate her birthday, but the logistics of importing her friends to the party are so involved. The packing, the planning, the coordinating! Sheesh! And I can’t picture opening presents or keeping a cake from getting ruined at the beach.

Carla also said something about wanting it to be an LPS (Littlest Pet Shop) birthday party at the beach. Have your party at an inconvenient location? And have an annoying commercial theme? Come on, kiddo, what do you take me for?! What next? Pony rides along beach? How about a bouncy castle, too? Maybe we should just go ahead and hire someone to dress up like a giant LPS critter who can do mimes and juggle coconuts, and set up an amusement park, too. Oh yeah, and we should bring along a palm tree to set up your technicolor fiber optic light singing pinata!

Alright, so I am getting a little out of hand, here. I know. I know. I get that way when I’m overwhelmed.

So: she wants to go down-a-shore (as the locals say) for her birthday. Fine. I will do that — why not? I will email her friends parents and invite them to join us for a day of fun in the sun. I can even take along a playmate for her in our car, if that would work. Maybe one or two of her good friends might have families who are game to go to the shore for a day. It’s not an impossible drive.

But on such short notice? I mean, her birthday itself is less than two weeks away. Lordy that’s soon.

And holy guacamole, she sure has a list of what she wants. Good luck puzzling this out.