PURELY HYPOTHETICAL DIALOGUE…

SHE: Dear, it’s garbage night, could you take out the trash?

HE: Why, certainly. Is there much that needs to go out?

SHE: Well, at this point the deck is starting to look like a midden.

HE: I hardly think you mean “midden.”

S: Well I know there’s a heap of trash out there.

H: “Midden” implies that there’s poop in the heap. There isn’t a heap of poop out on the deck, is there?

S: No, but there is a big pile of trash out there.

H: Let me look that up for you. Hmmmm… Midden: noun 1: dunghill2 a: a refuse heap; especially : kitchen midden b: a small pile (as of seeds, bones, or leaves) gathered by a rodent (as a pack rat). Although, I might add that my research shows that in Scotland, this term is used to generally denote a mess, and can even be extended to describe people whose lives are a mess.  Which reminds of another anecdote I want to share with you…

 . . .

The next morning…

SHE: There goes the trash truck. Did you ever take out the trash last night?

HE:  No, why, is there much trash to go out?

SHE: Well, yes, I’d say the deck is starting to look like… a refuse heap; specifically : a mound marking the site of a primitive human habitation