Dad just got a pace-maker. Getting a energizer bunny that keeps your ticker going is much less intrusive than it once was.  Back when I was about 14 years old,  my grandfather nearly died after a pacemaker installation, from the complications of having this surgery. Apparently, the doctors  neglected to remove one of the surgical sponges from his chest. This caused infection, and required that they open his chest back up a second time. (As a young teenager, I imagined a bright yellow sponge like my mom used to wash the dishes being dropped into Grandpa’s chest by accident, then the doctors obliviously sewed him back up, not noticing it was there.)

Nothing bad like that happened to my dad.  By comparison, his pacemaker was installed in a quick and easy way.  For one thing, they didn’t even put him completely under anesthesia – conscious sedation was used, allowing for a quicker recovery.  He went into the hospital at 9 AM, and by 3 PM that same day, he was home and conscious, and only mildly uncomfortable from his surgery.

What was really momentous about this pacemaker installation was that Dad had said he was not going to go into the hospital again for any reason.  And he can be really stubborn.  Yet the doctors were able to do this miraculous surgery as an outpatient procedure, so they convinced him it was worth it. Especially since having the pacemaker will improve his quality of life drastically; his heart just was not beating strongly enough on its own.

So Dad’s ok. For now. I still fear the cancer will return.  And a big sad voice in the back of chest is asking me why exactly I’m not hopping a plane for Florida to visit Dad now, before he’s gone for good. Part of what’s keeping me home is that I know his wife is there with him: he is not alone.  Maybe I will throw together a trip in January, when his wife has returned back to their his home in the north (the one he wants to leave to me and my brother but hasn’t taken the time to get that in writing in his will).  I don’t mean to put him off, but at the same time I want to have a home holiday with my family. Even if I don’t really know what that means.